If you've been a caregiver for several years, you may have noticed the physical and mental responsibility this takes. When it comes to long-term chronic illnesses, the caregiver's workload often increases over time. Both you and your care recipient are likely struggling against time
We are all ages, and as we do, we need to make more of an effort to stay fit and alert. As caregivers, we tend to prioritize our patients, to the detriment of ourselves in the process. The evidence suggests exercising, eating well, getting enough sleep, and so on. But there are also a few additional ways to help reduce physical and mental overwork.
Change your attitude
When I first started caring for my wife, I regularly felt that her doctors, nurses, and therapists didn't care about me. Everything was focused on her, and they rarely asked about me. The turning point came when a home health nurse completely ignored the fact that I was very ill with a bronchial infection. I realized then that my well-being was as important, if not more so—than my wife's, because without me, she would be helpless.
If you think this is selfish, you're right because it is! While I'm not suggesting that you regularly put your own needs before those of the person you care for, it's important to consider them. This will help you a lot if you want to change your behavior. The next step is to become more assertive about asking for help.
Use assistive devices to help you
When my wife was discharged from the hospital, an occupational therapist came to the home and made recommendations to best meet my wife's new needs. I implemented her suggestions as best I could by adding grab bars, widening doorways, removing rugs, adding a stair lift, and more.
After about six months, I realized that while these modifications were helpful, they didn't take my own needs into the account. For example, the standard placement of grab bars in the tub/shower is adequate for the person in the tub, but not always in the best position for the person trying to bathe. I've since added additional bars to help me maintain my balance when moving my wife to the shower. I've also added rubber-backed mats to make it easier to balance when moving her.
While my goal is to help my wife be more independent, I'm always looking for devices that will take some of the burden off my shoulders (a robot to feed her would be great!).
Make time for YOURSELF
I find the hardest part of being a caregiver is making time for yourself. I've given up most of the activities I did before my wife's stroke, partly because I don't have anyone to cover for me if I'm absent and partly because of the cost of those activities. The loss of personal time during the day is even more worrisome, especially in recent months during the pandemic. Between my wife, daughter, and dog, I'm busy all day and rarely find time to be alone. Just finding the time to write this article is a challenge.
Here again, the solution is to be a little selfish. For example, after putting my wife to bed around 8 pm, I spend some time with her, then put my daughter to bed around 10 pm Once that's done, I consider the next 90 minutes or so to be my own. My wife doesn't approve of me staying up so late, but I need that personal time to relax. This 90-minute period of quiet, with no obligations, allows me to reset for the next day.
Plan for the long term
The world is a little crazy right now, with health, environmental, political, social, and financial issues hitting us every day. If you're a caregiver for a loved one, chances are you'll be adding your challenges to the mix, making it harder to focus on anything other than...
The main thing. I see other caregivers who focus on the present and potentially sacrifice their future... something I try not to do.
My goal is for my wife and I to retire comfortably and provide ourselves with the care we need. To achieve this, I'm currently minimizing my reliance on expensive care services and instead maximizing my involvement. I've also considered a long-term plan to find a place where we can build an accessible home that will meet our retirement needs. This may not sound like a simple suggestion, and believe me, it isn't, but this long-term goal helps lower my stress levels.
I can imagine the day when we can both relax and spend time together, and it makes me smile. Having this plan, which could take years to implement, allows me to focus on a more pleasant vision of the future rather than the daily hassles.
What I get from it
I believe there are different stages in the development of a caregiver, and one of them is “awakening.” This occurs when you step out of the daily routine to integrate your own needs and well-being into the equation. This shift in perspective will help you see that there is purpose and hope for the future. I encourage all caregivers to step back and actively seek this perspective. Ultimately, this will improve not only the situation now, but also in the long run.
No comments:
Post a Comment